It eats you starting with your bottom...

tardisbluebird:

babyangelcastiel:

drilltowardstheheavens:

donkeykongcountry2:

i love that world war 2 is called world war 2

it sounds like the sequel to an action movie

“WORLD WAR 2….

GERMANY’S BACK, AND THIS TIME….

IT’S PERSONAL”

this has a great deal of accuracy though 

#god it better not be a trilogy

and sequels are always worse than the original

The phrase “World War II” was invented by TIME magazine journalists because they didn’t want to waste space writing “the Second Great War”.

alexandraerin:

knittedlampshade:

tomithejellyfish:

ruraljackdaw:

The Gripping Saga

Made rebloggable for Steven

I’m so sorry

JESUS FUCK

What I love about this is how obvious it is that the overzealous anon is one of those horrible straight allies.

lohrien:

Illustrations by Abby Diamond behance l tumblr

When I was little, my Mom made up stories about a kingfisher who was King of all the regularfishers.

The Carver Edlund books must be in that pile he hasn’t gotten to yet.

anniephantom:

labirdgeoiseed:

this is my favorite goofy pun ever, I have told it at least five times

I don’t care, fuck you

okay ready

as you all know, saint patrick walked barefoot as an act of contrition, which made his feet rugged and blistered. he ate an ascetic’s diet, which made him weak and additionally gave him bad breath.

all of this made him

a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

oh my god

Old crush, meet new crush.

thecakebar:

Sourdough Danish Pastries Tutorial Sets {You must click link for FULL tutorial/recipe}

thefrogman:

[80stees]
I had an auto-repair man once, who, on these intelligence tests, could not possibly have scored more than 80, by my estimate. I always took it for granted that I was far more intelligent than he was. Yet, when anything went wrong with my car I hastened to him with it, watched him anxiously as he explored its vitals, and listened to his pronouncements as though they were divine oracles - and he always fixed my car.
Well, then, suppose my auto-repair man devised questions for an intelligence test. Or suppose a carpenter did, or a farmer, or, indeed, almost anyone but an academician. By every one of those tests, I’d prove myself a moron, and I’d be a moron, too. In a world where I could not use my academic training and my verbal talents but had to do something intricate or hard, working with my hands, I would do poorly. My intelligence, then, is not absolute but is a function of the society I live in and of the fact that a small subsection of that society has managed to foist itself on the rest as an arbiter of such matters.
Consider my auto-repair man, again. He had a habit of telling me jokes whenever he saw me. One time he raised his head from under the automobile hood to say: “Doc, a deaf-and-mute guy went into a hardware store to ask for some nails. He put two fingers together on the counter and made hammering motions with the other hand. The clerk brought him a hammer. He shook his head and pointed to the two fingers he was hammering. The clerk brought him nails. He picked out the sizes he wanted, and left. Well, doc, the next guy who came in was a blind man. He wanted scissors. How do you suppose he asked for them?”
Indulgently, I lifted my right hand and made scissoring motions with my first two fingers. Whereupon my auto-repair man laughed raucously and said, “Why, you dumb jerk, He used his voice and asked for them.” Then he said smugly, “I’ve been trying that on all my customers today.” “Did you catch many?” I asked. “Quite a few,” he said, “but I knew for sure I’d catch you.” “Why is that?” I asked. “Because you’re so goddamned educated, doc, I knew you couldn’t be very smart.
Isaac Asimov (via skinnybaras)

doctorwho:

jellyfishnets:

Stare at the first photo for 30 seconds. Stare at second photo immediately after. URWELCOME :D